People who consider themselves in conflict tend toward either a “fight” or a “flight” response:
- In fight “mode”, we get mad, compete, power-over, push and prod others in order to address it.
- In flight mode, we get fearful, avoid, accommodate, give-in, postpone, run or go silent in order to let it address itself.
We’re always in conflict… challenged by the world, ideas, insights and interactions around – or within – us. Let’s illustrate how that can be true: conflict happens far more than when an argument or dispute is in evidence. While it isn’t common experience, winning the lottery is a dream come true, and there is a great deal of evidence that those who win a lottery find that the world post-lottery-win is far more difficult and full of conflicts than their life had been without the riches. Most of us wouldn’t generally consider such pleasant a circumstance to be “conflict” and nor do we think the daily negotiations over what to have for dinner are opportunities to see our differences… but maybe they are. Although where to go for dinner may be very easy for us to informally resolve, when such negotiations arise, we can usually congratulate ourselves for a well-navigated collaboration.
Indeed, while conflict is a term most-often associated with negative, harmful, or threatening situations, choices and people, many, conflict arises many times in enjoyable, happy, pleasure-filled circumstances. We experience many conflict in our most pleasant times – in sport, games, debate, television, love and with people we love and who love us. This can be extended to the people we depend upon: our co-workers and communities. Hardly threatening in general, conflict does arise in unpleasant forms to remind us, humble, entertain and challenge us, with our differences.
Consider this: conflict can be a costly and time-consuming barrier to happiness, performance, calm and learning. Conflict is also a dynamic, entertaining, and motivating force. In healthy doses, conflict does us a lot of good. Meanwhile, under threat of losing, risk or insecurity, conflicts can trigger a “fight” or “flight” reaction within us. Either reaction may be the best option to address an issue: for example most would not argue that you should take flight in some circumstances (playing tag).
Here’s where a Conflict Navigator comes in. In today’s relatively well-tempered context, we have high expectations of each other and our norms, values and standards of behavior. The complexity, diversity, and change we experience today however, means that mastery of “conflict navigation” only gets more important as subtleties and borders blurr ownership, hierarchy, respect, etc. Conflict management requires us to make extremely frequent decisions, each a judgment call that benefit from both science and and art and everything in-between.
We admire the capability with the elders in our communities and families to have and apply ‘wisdom’ – their years allow them the foresight and hindsight to handle issues with the same qualities that work to support effective conflict navigation.
[navigation:] transitive verb 1 a : to sail over, on, or through b : to make one’s way over or through : traverse
2 a : to steer or manage (a boat) in sailing b : to operate or control the course of (as an airplane)http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/navigating
Based upon principles of adult education, conflict management, analysis, and coaching, conflict navigation is a term that well-describes one who is highly skilled (or gifted) in the science and art of conflict management. To be given the title “Conflict Navigator” is indicative that an individual has the capacity to be trusted to know how to work with individuals, groups, teams, communities and leaders to see them use conflict – not to run from (flight) or compete against (fight) – but something to work with, learn to appreciate and profit from. A Conflict Navigator makes the journey and the goal the “thing”, helping their confidant stay on or discover a course that is as gratifying as the result.
You can either learn to navigate conflicts effectively, or work with another trained in Conflict Navigation. Either way, you will more effectively connect the points along the way – like having a GPS for life or work.
Ready to get Certified? Read more.